If You Stop Looking…

If you stop looking, you won’t find it.

It’s so painfully obvious but I just can’t seem to learn this lesson. I have a hard time staying satisfied with what I have.

Really, I want for nothing; my ancestors would be ashamed. I live in the West; any food or entertainment need I have can be quickly satisfied. But I shop. I get fixed on something and just keep shopping.

I owned a giant luxury car for a time, and I miss it. The power, the comfort, the ‘solid’ feel of driving. The little inflated sense of pride that comes when unlocking the door or when passing someone with power to spare. (You’ll note I have a harder time recalling the 18 mpg, or the repair costs)

I want another one. I don’t need one. No one really needs such a thing. But I want it.

And I feed my own problem. Not just feed; the entire issues is completely self-created. You won’t find great deals if you’re not looking. Craigslist doesn’t come to me, I go to Craigslist. If I don’t seek it out, I remove any and all turmoil. There’s no panic of  ‘There it is! How can I make this work?!’

Yet the most obvious lessons that don’t seem to stick.

Found myself a luxobarge, not far away, with the interior color I dream of. To what end?

Life must be lived intentionally, with focus. “Does this purchase get me closer to my goals?”

How much is Enough?

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